it's not the smoking, it's the lying

when we first met and started hanging out I was honest. I said I really likes him, but I didn't want to be with a smoker. so he started working on it. one year later at thanksgiving he announced to everyone he had quit. it was really awesome and I was so proud. I still smelled it on him all the time but chalked it up to coworkers. then we got married. and we now have an almost 3 year old. I still smell it all the time, and when we were dating I did freak out at first. I would yell and cry and be dramatic. but 4 years later, whenever it comes up, I'm calm. sad and disappointed, but calm. I tell him, everytime this comes up, that I'm more upset about the lying and hiding than the actual smoking. I'm upset that he basically hid it from me so I'd stay with him. and I'm mad at myself for believing him when he would say the smell wasn't him, but a coworker. the lying is starting to freak me out. it's just too easy for him. he will literally come up with any old story to appease me, when I have repeatedly basically just begged for honesty and promised to not over react. I just want him to feel comfortable enough to open up to me. I also want to add that he is the one who said he would never smoke around our child, and that he didn't want her to be raised to think smoking is ok. I know he has a lot of guilt and embarrassment about it. I know when he's smoked because he'll wash up before even touching our daughter, yet he still lies about it... yesterday I left money for gas in his car since I'd been the one to go to the bank, and there were 3 packs, one unopened, in his door. the day before he had seen a cigarette on our porch and it wasn't his brand so I didn't think anything of it, just figured it was a friends, and said nothing. but he went out of his way to claim his innocence and tell me how great he's doing when the next day, I found packs upon packs. I am always upfront with him. and I also tell him I DO NOT expect perfection. just honesty. I expect honesty. his grandmother died from lung cancer. my dad is currently slowly dying from congestive heart failure... from smoking. I'm getting to the point where I have stopped caring because that's what I do when something gets to be too much. all I can think about is losing him young now, and I don't want that. I'd rather emotionally distance myself at this point. Idk what to do. I want to be with him and help him, but I won't be lied to. exit: while I was dramatic in the beginning, that was the first yr of us being together. since we had our daughter I don't yell anymore, so he's had literally 3 years of me being calm and not yelling. which is why him hiding it from me is getting harder to deal with. I'm just starting to feel stupid for being with him. I never forced him to quit. he said he wanted to be with me and promised to quit. so yes, I was dumb to believe that, but no, I never made him quit. I did say I wouldn't date a smoker, but I don't think it's unfair to have certain standards. he chose to accept my conditions and just keep it from me, so now here we are. :(