Unsatisfactory Sex for 11 years! I want a divorce!
I need some help, advice, constructive critism... I have been with my husband for a total of 11 years, married for almost 3 years. I warn you, it is kind of a long post...but I need some help!
I have never really had a huge sex drive and because of some fucked up things that happened to me in high school, I have just not ever enjoyed sex the way he does. I never had a chance to find myself and my likes. I was always just going with the flow with what he wanted. I was honestly never sexually attracted to him, he was more of the companion I needed when I had no one else.
Now, years later, I have really found myself sexually and have demanded more from him in terms of my pleasure. I also finally came to terms with the fact that I am bi-sexual (that is a whole different post in itself).
No matter how much I tell him what I want, How I want it, or when I want it... he just never pulls through and I am always left unsatisfied. It is a rare occurrence that I enjoy myself.
I try my best to pleasure him and he always seems to love what I do. Except for the past 6 months, because I have given up, I gave him my all. His libido is very high and I was always there to support it.
Now, I have completely lost my desire for sex with him. I don't look forward to it and don't try to engage. Sex has always been a huge issue in our relationship and it has gotten significantly worse over the course of the last 6 years.
This, along with his laziness and subpar parenting, has resulted in me wanting to divorce him. I do not want to deal with an unhappy marriage my whole life. I also am afraid of divorce because financially, I couldn't see myself being able to do it.