been feeling down😶😶

so my now husband and I have had it ruff since we got together in 2016.... He has cheated more than once an in December on 2017 he convenient me I need to go into 2a because I would get mad over nothing (witch was true) I did need to go but I keep trying to put it off well one day I could not hold back no I went in ( worst an best thing I did) as I was in 2a he left me for a nother girl that we both were working with. after being in for 2 days he stopped calling stopped answering my phone calls... I found out from my family that he left me that all his things were gone😤😤😤 he did not even have the balls to do it to my face, he lied to his friends, after I had gotten out of 2a an came home a few weeks later I went an seen him an boy did I flipped shit lol.... after I flipped an punched him in the chest a few times he held me an clamed me down we ended up having sex in the back of my car 😟😟 (an at this time the girl he lefted me for lefted him because he did not make enough money 😂😂) so after all that we went out separate ways but then again she left him an he came back running to me I kicked his ass to the curb after trying to kinda work it out. everything was going good he was out of life I was having amazing sex with his cousin 😳 then a few weeks ago everything changed I was 5 days late. so I got ahold of him after I peed an it came back positive I was 5 weeks an 3 days I was excited we we're trying for a year an it finally happened but we jumped right into datting... he wants to get married an so do i.. I'm so scared he is going to cheat again..... it runs threw my head everyday that as we were engaged for another girl all because she was something fresh but he has been treating me like a queen since we found out. I get flowers at random 🤣🤣