Sex & Relationships
From relationship goals to sex advice: if it's about sex or relationships, share it here.
EVERYTHING happens for a reason.
A little back story I was married at 19. I have 3 kids from that marriage. During that marriage i was also a surrogate 3 times. My ex husband had a vasectomy after our youngest. I was DONE or so I thought. Him and I divorced and I hit a horrible spot. I met my husband by chance and he saved me. Long story short I had calculated a fatal dose of multiple medications and the night my husband first messaged me. Like pills in my hand sending a text to my mother to let her know where I was staying so it wouldn't be weeks before being found and his message came through. So fast forward to my Dad's funeral and a day filled with anti anxiety meds topped with Ambien and I was in bed already when my Husband (my boyfriend then) showed up I don't remember a lot of that night but I ended up pregnant. We had our oldest daughter. We then planned a baby and miscarried. After that baby it took me time to be ready to try again. Sure enough first shot and we had our rainbow baby who is now 2 months old. While I was pregnant with her my husband had to have a surgery for a very large kidney stone so he had his vasectomy while under anastesia. We didn't think too much about it until baby was 3 weeks old. So he took his sample in and I waited a week after not hearing anything I called. I about fell out of my chair when the nurse said nope you aren't safe yet. So I immediately called my midwife and requested my tubes be tied. That is scheduled for April 4 as my work schedule doesn't allow me to get it done sooner. My last pregnancy was HORRIBLE. Hyperemesis for the first 2 trimesters, two weeks over due, induction which was fine until my water broke and her entire head was there I seriously pushed once with her. So all that being said. My husband is on this "our whole relationship is things happen for a reason". He is insistent he wants to try for another baby. Like I haven't had sex since I was 41 weeks pregnant to avoid any chance. Then the whole failed vasectomy thing. I am ebf and I got my damn period already which he is taking as another 'sign'. If I fall back in my normal pattern and I actually got pregnant I would be due one day after my due date with our youngest. They would be true Irish twins. I am sooooo torn right now. Thinking maybe he is right. What if we didn't try but didn't prevent either and it happened. I hate being so wishy washy. I am soooo type A and had such a dilemma on my plate. I get it. He has 3 daughters he wants his chance for a boy. I completely get that. Ahhhhh this man is killing me