You see that sweet little rascal trying to steal the limelight in this photo? I gained 50lbs in my pregnancy with her. 30 of that was gone in the first week thanks to a 9lb baby and all the water weight from my massive swelling, but those last 20lbs just hung around. I kept telling myself “They say it takes 9mo to put the weight on, so it takes 9mo to lose it.” I figured, as a stay at home mom with all the time in the world (🤣) how hard would it be?

Well, here I am at 9mo pp and I still have 11lbs to go to my pre-pregnancy weight (which was already overweight as it is). My skin is loose and saggy. My stretch marks are thicker than I ever knew stretch marks could be. My abdomen muscles are loose and don’t hold my organs in the way they used to in. I’ve been eating a mostly plant based diet for 6mo now. I’ve been casually working out. I wore the post-partum girdles. My thyroid meds were increased. I tried dry exfoliation and stretch mark cream every day for weeks. But the stretch marks will not go away and the weight is not falling off as fast as I would like.

I’ve scrolled through Instagram and seen moms who were celebrating being smaller than their pre-pregnancy weights at just a couple months pp. I have beaten myself up pretty badly over how I look until one day I came to a very important realization in my journey to health and body positivity.

The worst thing I could be right now is not being overweight. Being a good mother, a loving wife, a kind friend, and a passionate follower of Christ - those are my top priorities.

That means some days I’m not going to go for a walk, because instead I’m going to just sit and play with Lucy. Some days I am going to make a pot of carb-loaded spaghetti for dinner, because my emotional health and my marriage deserve more time than my meal prep. I am going to ensure I eat 3 full meals a day on top of snacking, because my milk supply drops off if I try the “don’t eat after 7pm” rule. I am going to choose to spend time in the Word over time in the gym when my free time is limited. When I get tempted to cut myself short on calories, when I get down on myself for how I look, when I get angry and jealous of other women’s successes in light of my “failures,” I remind myself that my life’s meaning and success will not hinge upon whether or not I ever get “skinny.” My priority is being a good mother.

And as a good mother, I need to love my body and model body positivity for my daughter. So I choose to still work out because being alive and being healthy are the first things that allow me to be there for my daughter. I choose to still buy plant based groceries instead of processed food, because loving my body means feeding it the nutrients it craves and the strength it needs to function well. I am not going to beat myself up if it’s been a week since my last true work out. I am not going to lament if we’re out of town and it’s too difficult to find vegan options on the road. And most importantly, I am not going to hold disdain for my body because it performed the greatest feat in creating, carrying, and birthing Lucy into this world. I am going to be proud of what my body has accomplished and care for it to continue to function the best it can.

This is my “mom bod.” I am endlessly grateful for what it has given me and so I will intentionally take care of it and I will be proud of it no matter how it looks.