My time has finally come
Never thought that there was hope for me. Through out my life I had this sinking feeling that I would never get pregnant.
At age 22 my gyno told me I might as well get a hysterectomy to alleviate the pain since my chances of getting pregnant were slim to none anyways. This completely shattered my world. I wasn't TTC at the time but this just affirmed my biggest fear, that I would never conceive a child.
At the age of 24 I decided to finally get surgery for my period pains. It was then that I was diagnosed with stage 3 endometriosis and was told that
would be my only hope.
With this mindset my husband and I decided to make the most of our situations. We traveled. We went to both coasts and saw over 30 states.
We finally settled down and bought a house out in the country.
I then started to fill my childless void with pets. I am now the proud mother of 4 fur babies.
Just last year I randomly saw a palm reader for fun. At the end of my reading she asked if I had any questions... I ask about kids. How many kids will I have? She examined my hand and said "none". My heart sunk. I knew the answer. I just wanted someone to give me a response with hope. I needed some hope to cling onto.
But my husband and I kept trying.... for 5 years we kept trying. It is a roller coaster. Some months I dont care if I get my period because I am so use to the let down, I am numb, while other months I would sob at the idea of never being pregnant.
My husband and I set a goal this year that we would use our tax returns to start the artificial insemination process. My husband wants us to at least try while I would rather adopt. Out of respect for him I said that I would be willing to give it 3 shots. But if it didn't work I am skipping <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> and going straight to adoption. So this process will start this spring, most likely in March.
GREAT! Now we have a plan.
Well this morning I notice I was 2 days late for my period. No big deal, this happens all the time. My breast are sore, I broke out in pimples, I even have cramps! These are all my typically period signs. My period is coming... just like the last 58 months while TTC.
That means 58 negative tests. 58 single lines. 58 times of feeling hopeless and let down. But what is one more.... right?
So I tested. The
5 fucking years.......