Was this rape..? And trust issues w/ mom now. Please read :(

I snuck a guy into my house ( I know , bad idea ) but I didn’t think anything of it at the time. It was the middle of the night, so we had to be silent. We were cuddling in my bed with just a shirt and our undies on ( I know , bad idea ). Then things got more intense and he starting feeling me in places I didn’t like. I told him to stop and he didn’t. He took of my underwear and started to go down on me. I didn’t want it. I never told him to do this. I said “Stop. I don’t want this”. He didn’t stop. He forced my mouth into him. He didn’t care that I was choking and crying. He kept saying things like “come on... just one orgasm you’ll like it I promise”. I realize I let him into my house, what I was wearing wasn’t appropriate, but that still doesn’t give him the right to take my body like that.

Now about my mom.

fast forward a couple months. I started getting sore throats daily and some blisters. My mom and I assumed it was strep. I went to immediate care and the strep test was negative. The nurse practitioner asked my mom to leave the room and asked me if I had given oral sex recently. I said yes , but I did not want to admit it was rape. I was (still am) worried if this goes to trial , it will all come back to me letting him into my house. They tested me for 3 stds that the blisters showed signs of. All of them came back negative. So I don’t know what it was. But it hasn’t happened since.

Since all the testing was being done, my mom was the one paying for it. So of course the doctor had to tell her what she was paying for. I did not tell my mom or my doctor the situation. I stayed quiet and kept to myself the entire time. I said nothing. And now I am.

I need help you guys. I know it was rape. I said no. He didn’t stop. No one knows except my group of friends. No one in my day to day life at home know what it’s like to live with this regret and disgusting feeling.

since it was so long ago, could we still press charges? A rape kit couldn’t be done or anything along the lines of that. So I’m not sure how that would work.

Most of all, my mom doesn’t trust me. She’s under the impression I let this guy come into our house and I gave him a blowjob. How can I improve our trust??

Thank you for reading this :(.