I gave birth to my baby boy 15 weeks early, and now here we are 3 weeks in, he's had a grade 4 brain bleed, a hole in his intestine which lead to emergancy surgery, and a yeast infection which is now starting to win. the doctors have used so many cathaders and IVs but his veins keep collapsing so now they're trying to give him drug through one last. IV, and they cant give him one anywhere else. so we have 2 options, stop treatment now, or put him through another surgery so they can put an IV in his neck which will most likely get infected and fail in a day, if he even survives the surgery. I honestly have no idea what to do, my boyfriend wants him to have the surgery, and i can understand why, i want my handsome little man to come home asap and i want to do anything and everything to make that happen, but at the same time, this surgery will most likely only prolong his passing, and i dont want to put him through something so hard only for it to result in nothing you know? I know that ultimately its my choice, but it would be nice to get some feedback.

***UPDATE*** The surgeon refused to do the surgery, so we had to let him go, he passed 2 days ago while I was holding him, it hurts so much and i miss him more than i ever thought possible.

I was on pinterest the day after he passed, and i found this in my feed, it comforts me but breals my heart at the same time, i miss him so much but its nice to know he loves me and is watching over me amd his daddy

yet another update, we had his funeral February 23, it was beautiful. He was surrounded by so many people who love him