Did you ladies have a party for your one year old?

My husband and I cannot agree on what to do for our daughters first birthday. My husband’s family does not like my family and I feel like if we throw a small joint party there is going to be unnecessary drama.

My husband thinks if we have two separate parties then he thinks that we are allowing the bad behavior to continue.

I understand where he’s coming from but I don’t want my daughter growing up being exposed to all the adult problems in both our families. Kids should not be concerned with adult matters.

I played around with the idea of just having a small cake and celebrating with just me and my husband but both my mother and mother in law were about to flip their lids. I don’t really care about how my mother in law feels (she’s one of the reasons we can’t have a joint party) but my daughter is my mom and dads first grandchild and I don’t want to deprive them of her milestones. They really love her and are wonderful grandparents.

What should I do?