I know you were very young, and mommy never met you. But know mommy loves you... today is the 1 month anniversary of when i lost you. Its been tuff but me and your father made through so far. We’ve been kinda ruff, said some things we both didn’t mean, threw things we thought we didn’t need, and left walking away from each other regretting it minutes after. And even through all hell we’ve been through we haven’t forgotten you. I cant really speak for your dad but i know i still think about you every day. I still think about waiting in the waiting room for the nurse to tell me how healthy you were. How lucky i am to be able to have you and call you mine. I waited for an hour and a half for the doctors to finally find someone strong enough to tell me the truth. As soon as i saw her approach me from across the hall i got up and started walkig towards her. She grabbed my shoulder swifted me away to a room written in bold black lettering “patient consultation room” i knew it was too late. My hope was gone. When mommy first found out about you she had this feeling we werent gonna meet one day. It was a gut feeling. Heart wrenching, but i had to stay positive i had to tell your dad. He was surprised and kinda scared because how young he is but boy he was happy. I had to let that feeling pass. And finally when the feeling was only getting stronger i brought it up with your dad. “Michael i dont feel like im gonna give birth i dont SEE myself in a hospital bed, when i had Walter i felt the experience before the event even happened, but now...i just feel like somethings gonna happen” your dad reassured me everything was fine and you were more healthier then before. But i still felt that feeling. Just 5 days later something happened. And mommy was in a lot of pain, she was scared, anxious, and so worried about you. I went to the hospital but they thought you were just growing slow. So they sent me home with a good luck and a pat on the back. One nurse stated “i think everything’s just fine and you’ll have a live birth” she gave me such little but much important hope. I went home feeling like i was hyperventilating for 2 days. Scared. Mommy was happy. And all of a sudden she was terrified.

But its okay Casey. Because when i think about you now im still happy. Im happy we had an experience, im so happy i could love you, and im so happy you were mine. You’ll always be Walters sibling. Heaven to Earth we’ll all be at the same place one day. Just not yet. Even if i didn’t know much about you or know how important you were gonna be to me.Mommys always going to remember you. No matter what,thick and thin. Ill meet you in the skies baby believe me. I love you, Casey 💙💛💜

👼 Your Mommy’s little Angel 👼

🖤1/18/2018🖤

🖤5weeks 6days🖤