Hi everyone. In January of 2016 I had a miscarriage. It took my husband and I 6 months to get pregnant again because I had unexplained bleeding between every period for that amount of time. It was a really stressful time with the bleeding plus a bunch of shit happened in my life with my family.

Currently I’m 32 weeks with my rainbow baby and everything has been totally fine with the pregnancy. Life has chilled out a bit. I am super low risk and besides a couple times I got dehydrated I’ve had absolutely no issues with pregnancy or life really. Pregnancy wise both baby and I have passed all the tests with flying colors. All the ultrasounds we had showed the most average baby girl there could be... I do kick counts regularly. She’s a mover and shaker. She’s still breech, but has shifted to transverse instead of straight up and down. So she’s on the move.

The issue is I just had my baby shower and have all this stuff for the baby and I can’t bring myself to organize or put anything together. I’ve sort of realized that I’m still scared I’m not going to end up with a baby in the end. I know that the chance of that are unlikely right now but I’m just really anxious about it all. I haven’t really felt this uncertainty or anxiety since the early days of my second trimester but now it’s back and I can’t shake it. Any other mamas feel this way? Was there anything you did that helped you get through it?