Help! How do I even breathe?! ๐Ÿ˜ช

Michaella ๐Ÿ’•

We had finally fallen pregnant with our rainbow baby after a long time trying. Our Christmas miracle ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป ๐ŸŽ„ ๐ŸŒˆ

Everything was going so perfect.. until at our almost 11wk ultrasound and they couldnโ€™t find a heart beat ๐Ÿ’” after getting another ultrasound for confirmation... it was true..

3 days ago I went into day surgery to get a D&C.; I would say that Iโ€™m currently numb, emotionally. Although Iโ€™d be lying. The heaviness in my chest feels like itโ€™s going to cave my chest in.

I have a million questions and all my responses are โ€œYouโ€™ll get there one day!โ€. I try so hard not to be mad at everyone who says it to me. But this โ€œOne dayโ€ they all speak of feels as though itโ€™s getting further and further away. Itโ€™s already been yrs for this โ€œOne dayโ€ to come my way.

Wtf is wrong with me?! Why is it so impossibly hard for me to do this when thousands of women out there pop babies out without a care. ๐Ÿ˜ญ

I donโ€™t know what to say, how to feel, when to try again, how to comfort my partner or how not to break.

I donโ€™t want to seem selfish or rude as I know there are hundreds of other people trying also. Who I feel for and pray their hearts are completely filled soon!! โฃ๏ธ .. But I just needed to scream this from my lungs, my heart and my head knowing maybe someone would hear me. ๐Ÿ˜ญ