Help! How do I even breathe?! 😪

Michaella 💕

We had finally fallen pregnant with our rainbow baby after a long time trying. Our Christmas miracle 🙏🏻 🎄 🌈

Everything was going so perfect.. until at our almost 11wk ultrasound and they couldn’t find a heart beat 💔 after getting another ultrasound for confirmation... it was true..

3 days ago I went into day surgery to get a D&C.; I would say that I’m currently numb, emotionally. Although I’d be lying. The heaviness in my chest feels like it’s going to cave my chest in.

I have a million questions and all my responses are “You’ll get there one day!”. I try so hard not to be mad at everyone who says it to me. But this “One day” they all speak of feels as though it’s getting further and further away. It’s already been yrs for this “One day” to come my way.

Wtf is wrong with me?! Why is it so impossibly hard for me to do this when thousands of women out there pop babies out without a care. 😭

I don’t know what to say, how to feel, when to try again, how to comfort my partner or how not to break.

I don’t want to seem selfish or rude as I know there are hundreds of other people trying also. Who I feel for and pray their hearts are completely filled soon!! ❣️ .. But I just needed to scream this from my lungs, my heart and my head knowing maybe someone would hear me. 😭