Has anyone just stopped looking for love and stopped giving a damn about it? Like having a soulmate is no longer apart of one's life?

Over a month ago I found out that my boyfriend for 10 months cheated on me wigh some bloned headed skinny bitch. I dumped him on the spot didnt give a damn what his excuse was, drank for 4 weeks straight and now as I sit back and think about the 10 months I was with him, I no longer care about being loved by anyone. I live on my own now and I go to bed with the tv on. I realize now im too much of a freak to be loved. Im too much to handle.