I lost my baby on Tuesday February 13, 2018 I was 12 weeks and 4days. And my bump just started to show.. and my bump is still growing because my hormones have not gone down yet but my Morning sickness is now gone, so I can eat which now I’m finely gaining weight. Because before when I was pregnant and I was so sick I was losing weight.

Not a day has gone by that I don’t hold my belly and cry.

It’s the hardest feeling knowing you have life In you one day and the next day there’s nothing there..

I had a name..

I have baby things stills coming in the mail.

I am A mess

I also had a misscareage in August 21, 2017 I was only 7weeks and I thought that was hard.. in August it started with cramps and when I started bleeding I went into the er. After that I fell into a deep depression until December 2017 when I found out I was pregnant. I was worried but the dr said that everything was ok with the baby and I was thankful But something just did feel right, at 12 week i had gone in for my anatomy ultrasound, it was so hard to find the baby because the baby was setting so low. when I left the ultrasound my whole abdomen hurt and I was in a lot of pain from how hard she had pressed down. that whole weekend I was having so much pain, I couldn’t sleep and my whole abdomen the whole ball of pain. I was so sick, I had a fever and I couldn’t keep any down. I never had any bleeding but it was to late by the time I got to the er I had lost the baby. But they informed me that the baby was blocking the birthing canal, I would’ve never been able to have a natural childbirth and as it was I couldn’t even have a natural miscarriage.. they told me that the big the baby got the more dangerous it could have been and that it could’ve killed me and the baby,

But Knowing all this doesn’t make things better I still wish I had my baby inside me.