Emotions..

*WARNING PRETTY LONG*

My SO and I have been on & off since my sophomore year of high school. Around prom & graduation my senior year after not being in a relationship but messing around for a while we officially got back together & he broke up with me a few months after but still wanted to remain friends..but we weren’t friends, we still had sex and still acted as if we were in a relationship and we’ve been like this ever since. I continue to beg him to get back together officially and he refuses to, he says because he doesn’t want the stress of a relationship. I asked him what does that make us then? And he replied “Two people in love that treat each other with love and respect and bond together” IS THAT NOT A F*CKING RELATIONSHIP? I’ve asked him if he’s seeing someone else because he’s cheated before and he swears he’s not that kind of person anymore and it’s just me overthinking and my hormones. Our child is going to be here in 5 months, and I can’t picture not having a family. Do i seem irrational, or do i have a right to be feeling so hurt. I’m tired of feeling like i don’t matter.