Not enough

Ever since I got with my boyfriend... I’ve felt like I was competing with his favorite porn stars. He’s always showing me videos but claims I’m doing a good job. At first it was sexy but now it’s annoying. He says he’s just trying to give me ideas but I can tell he wants our sex life to emulate porn. I personally have no issues with porn. Hell, I watch it sometimes but I have no desire for our intimacy to reflect fantasy. I cherish real intimacy where I can be myself and I do like to put on a show a lot of times as well. Like when I’m feeling particularly sexy, I will get on top and ride him and really throw it back but then he’s just kind of laying there not saying anything. I have to ask for a slap on the ass! His excuse is “what man doesn’t want their girl to be a slut in the bedroom” and yeah I kind of get it, but I’m not exactly a prude either. I just don’t feel like I’m enough. I’ve gained a little bit of weight which has made me feel less confident but he claims he likes me thick. I don’t know anymore. My self-image has gone way down because I see the types of girls he likes and the girls he works with always have their nails done and hair done but I don’t have the money to do that all the time! He thinks I’m trying to be defiant by bit having them done but I tend to feel worse about myself when I have makeup ok and my hair done because the real me feels like it’s covered up. Help!