marked today in my calendar

After being together for 5 years, living together for 4 years, my SO significant other and I decided we would stop trying to prevent pregnancy see what happened..... That was 14 months ago. I'm 24, he's 31. I didn't start using Glow until around Christmas. Other than tracking my AF aunt flo and trying to notice changes in my body (like cramps, cervical mucus) I haven't done anything else to increase my fertility.

I've talked to my doctor about this and she suggested a few things like losing weight (size 14) take prenatal vitamins and that ultimately my partner should also be making changes.

Seems fine and dandy, right? He's said how he wants to be healthier for his kids so he can live to see them graduate , and how he chose to have a lettuce wrap for lunch because he's trying to get in better shape "for you, and possibly you two." BUT he said yesterday that it wouldn't hurt to wait a few more months.

In a way - he's completely right! We still live in a one bedroom apartment, we are in the middle of moving both our Moms out of the state's they live. My mom's going through a divorce and my sister is 10. My SO has two products that go into production this month. I'll admit, there's a lot going on!

So that brings me to today. The day I marked in my calendar. I'm 10 DPO days past ovulation and I created an event for today titles "HOW ARE YOU FEELING?" after reading if I was pregnant I should start to feel pregnancy symptoms...

I'm not feeling any out of the ordinary - at least nothing that can be attributed to AF. And the worst part about it? I'm completely and utterly upset about what my SO said when I suggested we go to the doctor together to see if there's something wrong with us- now he wants to wait.

I can't talk to anybody else about this because nobody knows we were essentially trying to get pregnant. I'm numb.