Husband’s ex won’t stop until she destroys me

I’m 23 weeks pregnant and had an anxiety attack this morning...couldn’t breathe or stop shaking and now I’m cramping. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

I’ve been married 4 years and my husband is wonderful, but his ex is completely psychotic. I didn’t even realize the degree of her psychosis at first but she will not stop until she destroys him, me, our family, everything around us.

They have 2 kids together...both also had major issues in the beginning but have come to be more respectful of me as time has gone on. Still, she’s raising them with many of her values. Anytime they have issues at school (bullying other kids, etc) it’s always the other kid’s fault or the teacher’s fault. If they lose something, it’s my fault or my husband’s fault. They can do no wrong and she buys them anything their hearts desire, feeds them only their favourite foods, etc. and we are awful parents if we don’t do the same.

I have had the cops at my house twice, once because she was throwing rocks at our windows and another time because she barged into our garage, sat on my vehicle and screamed at us with the kids present, refusing to leave.

Four years later (actually six years if you count the time my husband and I were dating) she is as angry as ever. She screams at us in front of the kids, texts and leaves messages constantly... like up to 10 x a day, ranting about everything we’re doing wrong as parents... she even drags my son from a previous relationship into it because she knows that will get to me, but now she’s gone so far as to drag my son’s dad (who I have a great relationship with) into it. He drives all our kids to school the mornings we have them as my husband and I start work early, and she’s threatened him saying her kids aren’t allowed to drive with him. She’s contacted him about my parenting and her “concerns” for my son.

I have tried getting a restraining order twice but was denied because we were never in a “personal relationship” and she hasn’t made any direct threats to me or my son (even though my stepdaughter has said “my mom says she wants to kill you”).

I hate that this woman has free rein to harass me, my husband, even my son and his dad, that she’s raising her kids the way she is, that she’s causing me to have anxiety attacks while pregnant!!! She wants me out of the picture... what am I supposed to do, break up my own family and my happy marriage because of her? I mean I came into the picture 2 years after she split with my husband... she cheated on him!!!! I am not the home wrecker here!!!

I guess I’m just ranting because I’m at my wit’s end. I’m concerned for my health and my unborn baby. I honestly feel defeated, I don’t know how much more of this I can take.