Just too little too late?

In my junior year of high school, I had a crush on my friend Dillon. Only a mutual friend knew about it. Well said friend knew dillon felt the same way. I had confessed to him a day too late how I felt and his at the time girlfriend drove us apart.

Flash forward two years, now eight months in a relationship, Dillon messages me. We talked for hours before agreeing to meet up. Seeing him again was great. It was like our friendship picked up where we left off.

Now I’m conflicted. He was always my what-if guy. I’m seeing him again Thursday. I haven’t told him I’m seeing anyone and my boyfriend knows I’m catching up with an old friend. I feel guilty because part of me wants to see what could have happened. Then I feel angry because I have such a great guy with me (granted we’re both at different levels in our lives) and I don’t want to throw away eight months with him. I’m at a loss because I don’t want to hurt anyone and I’m so confused.