Giving up

Another failed cycle. I’m really starting to feel like giving up. I don’t want to take clomid again, but feel like I have no choice because without it my cycles are 40+ days. My husband is getting tired. I feel like it’s all our life is centered around. I need to get healthier and lose about 20 lbs.

I honestly cannot even picture myself being pregnant or seeing a positive pregnancy test. I’ve visualized everything else that has happened in my life, but I feel like this just isn’t going to go as planned. I have an intuition that our baby is going to come another way.

I don’t want to give up, but also I’m sick of the heartbreak every month. I’m tired of getting excited and it doesn’t work. I just don’t know what to do... everyone else is getting pregnant and I just can’t be happy for them. It makes me feel very guilty.