I just need to rant. I have no one to talk to. Not even my boyfriend gets it. When I try to explain to him he just says “that sucks” and “that’s life”.

I’m 24.

I live with my parents.

I owe them more than 10,000$ for bills I haven’t been able to pay and for college classes they’ve paid for.

I’m a really hard worker.

I like to stay busy and work hard.... when I’m at work.

But finding and keeping a job is really hard with my anxiety.

I’ve never held a job for more than ten months.

It’s really hard to get to work for me sometimes.

I get so anxious leading up to it.

This morning I almost called off because I started a second position at work “to-go’s” and my first Friday was astronomically horrific.

I ended up crying in the bathroom after this guys order got mixed up with someone else’s and he flipped and started screaming and cursing at me and my manager.

I was scared that today would be just as bad... but I made myself get up and go (25 minutes before I had to leave....).

It didn’t go as bad...

But that isn’t my problem.

My problem is my inability to get a second job.

The only reason I got this one is because my manager is also my cousin...

I feel like I will never ever ever be able to hold down a job and make enough money to pay off my bills, pay back my parents, save for a new car, computer and camera (I’m going to school, when I can afford to, for photography), and live independently and be able to support myself.

I’m drowning in debt and my anxiety literally makes it impossible.

It’s absolutely crippling.

I have no one to talk to about this.

My parents have just about had it with me and I want to move out to lessen the burden on all of us but I can’t afford it.

I have no way out.

None.

Okay.

Sorry for the rant guys.

I just have no outlet.