I have a LOT on my plate at the moment. I am 32 weeks pregnant, excited and anticipating the upcoming birth of my baby. Have 4 other kids at home between ages 2 and 8. This baby will be our last child. My 2 year old is at an age where I cant even take her out to the shops for an hour without regretting doing so. She is an absolute hand full and I get NO BREAK from the kids. No break at all unless we are all asleep. My husband has been watching porn and its the tip of the iceberg for me. Its just made me feel like im spiraling into a depression all of a sudden. Dont tell me how porn is fine because when im not the size of a pig it really doesnt bother me but as of late, he hasnt been helping with the kids whatsoever, hasnt taken me out anywhere in months, is going out fishing all the time which i resent him for because he gets some time out, i do not and now hes been watching porn. He REFUSES to kiss me so I think that plays a major role in why I am so annoyed about the porn.. its not so much its porn, its the fact I get no attention, no affection, no sex, no conversation, no help, no break i feel all im here for is to look after kids. He thinks buying me a huge chocolate bar is solving all my problems. Ive gained 6lbs in a week. I feel horrible. I dont fit into my maternity clothes. I crave human interaction and i have no friends. Random people tell me im the size of a barn and look like im gonna pop, my self esteem is suffering. I find myself crying every day. I have nobody to talk to. My mother told me she wishes she had aborted me and ive decided to cut her out of my life and haven't seen her in a year. My ex has suddenly stopped seeing my older 2 kids because he is a pig and now im dealing with my kids crying because they miss their Dad. Its all too much. What do i do? I dont even want to try and have sex with my husband anymore or even be near him because I feel like any sex we have now will be pity sex and he doesnt feel attracted to me. Besides, with all hes been doing like not helping etc the last thing i wanna do is fuck him but i crave the closeness again. But i cant!