Is your spouse/partner/significant other helpful with the baby?

Question

I'm honestly feeling like a single parent. I'm a SAHM and understand my man works but he NEVER helps. As soon as he comes home he is on his phone and doesn't get off it until he's going to bed. I feel like our relationship is suffering. I asked if on the weekend he would get up with her so I would have a break, she's 3 months old and he's never once gotten up with her. He does not change her diapers or feed her unless I ask him to and I rarely do because he acts like it's a chore. He hardly seems interested in her unless she's really happy. [ She has Colic.] I've called him out several times but he acts like I'm crazy. Am I the only one? Or are some men just not helpful in the newborn stage of life?! Helllllllllllp me.

Answer

just because he brings in the money doesn't mean you deserve to be his slave 24/7. he's able to work because of everything you do to maintain the family side of things. what kind of discussion do you have about sharing responsibility? is it accusatory or calm?

Answer

I’m at my breaking point. I get 0 sleep, and our newborn is constantly crying. Day and night and he barely helps. I have to beg him to watch our son so I can go piss, or eat, or even shower. I get he works and has one of the hardest jobs out there but I need a fucking break.

Answer

My hubby doesn't help unless I ask. This is baby #3 and he has never gotten up at night and sleeps in so I am still the first one up every morning. I know this though,  and he's not a jerk he just has no idea what to do with a screaming baby and has no patience with them and gets frustrated really easily. We have a deal where when he is home he changes every other diaper, which helps. Also I can jump in the shower, as long as I give him a heads up so he knows he's in charge lol. Try asking nicely for help with small things first. It honestly doesn't occur to my hubby that I might need help, like for real. So unless I open my mouth and ask he won't offer. Some guys just need  direction.

Answer

That unfortunately was my ex husband.  It didn't get better as the kids got older 😕. I hope you and him can find some common ground, because bringing home the money isn't a free pass to not help with the kids

Answer

I’m on maternity leave and my husband tries to help as much as he can. I sleep on the couch most nights because I feel bad. He works long 12 hour shifts as a deck hand on a tow boat 5 days a week and I hate when she wakes him up. He tried to take her weekend nights but she’s ebf and he just seems to get frustrated because she doesn’t give him any indication she’s hungry. He tries but it’s just less stressful and easier for me to stay up with her.

Answer

This makes me so sad to read. My husband and I are pretty even on childcare. And he actually does more since I'm pregnant. I've read that some men have a harder time with the newborn stage as babies are very interactive. Talk about what you need from him, have him be alone with baby while you take a bath or run an errand, etc.

Answer

My fiancé sometimes gets like that. When he does I give him the baby and go to sleep or do whatever. But I can trust him to be with our baby and actually watch him.

Answer

we have 4 boys, and are expecting baby 5 in July. I had 2 from previous marriage ages 7 and 4 now. he has 1 from a previous relationship age 6 now. and we have a 7 month old son and another son due in 18 weeks. I am also a SAHM. my husband works at the post office and usually has to be up at 1am to go in to work. he is a super heavy sleeper, so he doesn't hear alarms or our son when he is sleeping. I have tried waking him up a few times at night to help me (especially the first 2 months when I was trying to breastfeed/pump. but by the time I get him awake enough to help me I could have already been done with whatever baby needed and got baby back to sleep. it's frustrating but hell, he can't help how he sleeps. now during the day is another story. if the baby cries which is rare aside from being hungry, tired or poopy, he gets very easily overwhelmed and just passes him off to me. it's like all he wants to do is play with him. when I ask him to feed him or change him I usually get a sigh or something. we literally just decided this week to ask a friend if we could pay her to clean our house once a week because I am so overwhelmed already with everything around the house and all the kids. my older 2 go to their dad's half of the time, but his 1 is here with us most of the time and he has severe ADHD, among alot of other issues. I do basically everything for all, so I can definitely understand your frustrations. the kids and my husband too

Is your spouse/partner/significant other helpful with the baby?

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