i married an abusive man who made me think he was only abusive when he drinks. i left him for 4mths, those 4mths he makes promises about changing into a better man and treating me better. i had no kids w him. i was still young at age 20. he, 26. during those mths, i was on the path of chasing my dreams again, and there were 8 men wanting to be more than friends w me. they were all really handsome and close to my age. there was 2 of them that i was interested in. but i fell into my hubs trap, chose him, and went back to him. he seemed like a changed man. i got pregnant and after i gave birth, he became abusive again. i realized that he is still abusive whether drinking or not. hes much worst than before. i got pregnant again, now i have 2 kids w him. im now 23. its too late to go back and chase after my dreams. no ones gonna want me anymore w 2 kids. if they do, they wont want my kids. if i leave him, hes not going to care for our kids anymore and live as if they dont exist. they wont have a father there to care for and love. he says all this to me and i believe him. i regret it so much, i shouldve never went back to have kids w him. he makes me feel worthless, hes not afraid to lose me after having kids w him. how do i find happiness