Visitors after baby is born?

Question

Hi ladies! My husband and I are having our first baby this fall and I am over the moon excited. I’m looking for some advice/guidance on visiting policy for baby’s first couple days. My husband and I were thinking about only having immediate family (our parents and siblings) and a very few close friends welcome to visit at the hospital, and asking everyone else to wait until we’re home and settled in a little. My family is really big (I have 22 first cousins)

and they are all local and very involved in each other’s lives so I can imagine a lot of people potentially showing up otherwise. 
My mom disagrees and thinks I’m being rude and inconsiderate by asking family to hold off on visiting. She also says it’ll be way easier on me to have people there than entertain at home. 
What do you guys think? Did any of you ask visitors to hold off until you were home? If everything goes well 🤞🏼 we shouldn’t be there for more than 48 hours anyway, right?!

Am I being rude? I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but I do want space to enjoy the first few days of my baby’s life with the people I’m actually close to.

Answer

I don't think your being rude, in fact, I think your being very fair!! It's your first baby and like you said, it should only be 48 hours. 22 first cousins is alot of people to be having in and out while your also trying to adjust with your new munchkin. Take those 2 days for you and your husband to bond with your baby!!

Answer

so it was a pain in the ass to entertain people when I went home. it was so much easier in the hospital. do what makes you feel comfortable though. first baby is usually a learning experience. next time I will not be having visitors at my home for at least 3 weeks, especially since I will be having another csection. and I had an easy time with my csection.

Answer

You pushed a human out of you. I’d say it’s your call. Too many people try to please everyone else and end up feeling let down because they couldn’t speak up for what they want. Someone’s going to be upset... so what. Again, you pushed a human out of you. Why do you have to be the one upset? It infuriates me that people expect mothers to entertain people immediately after giving birth. Like the new baby is about them and not the mother and baby.

Answer

I had my LO on Monday then we were discharged on Thursday after having a c section. It was overwhelming to have people coming by while recovering and trying to figure out motherhood with nurses coming in and out every few hours. 
Do what’s right for you and your family.

Answer

I hated having anyone visit in the hospital including my in laws. I was trying to learn to breast feed and I was bleeding like crazy. I was wearing an awful hospital gown and couldn’t shower for like 2 days. Yea I didn’t want to see anyone. It was enough to take care of myself and my baby. I didn’t want to have to make conversation with people. I wanted to sleep!

Answer

When my son was born only our parents and siblings were allowed to visit us at the hospital. And NOBODY was allowed to see my baby in person until he was 2 mths and got his first shots. I’m a germaphobe and didn’t want so many ppl touching my newborn. Plus being a first time mom was a challenge at the beginning. It’s your baby so don’t let your mother or anyone else push you into doing something you don’t want. If feelings get hurt, they’ll get over it.

Answer

I don't think that is a rude request at all. I just had my first baby 2 and a half weeks ago and we have limited visitors in the hospital. Once we got home the visitors started coming and haven't stopped since then. We had a meal train set up, which if you have that many people in your family, I highly recommend. That way, when you do have visitors, at least they are bringing you meals so dont have to cook, because you will NOT want to shop or cook for the first 2-3 weeks after.
I will warn you that having so many visitors, especially in the evening, gets exhausting. When you are already running on such little sleep, you want to go back and try to get robbed earlier and sometimes that doesn't happen if the visitor is running late or stays later. Don't be afraid to ask people to leave at some point, I still struggle with this because you never want to cut someone's visits short, especially if they are brining you good.
Try to space out visitors, maybe every other evening? That will help.

Answer

I like the idea of having people at the hospital. Then they can’t get too comfortable and leave sooner. Then you won’t have to have them at your place. 
I’m a FTM too and I plan on having visitors at the hospital if we feel up to it. I don’t have a big family tho. We’ll play it by ear.

Answer

I've seen some crazy woman on here. All like I don't wanna ppl coming over for a month...lol For you, I think your being responsible. That's a lot of in and out traffic coming into the hospital. At most ppl are in the hospital 2 days, 3 tops. Your family can wait a couple of days.

Answer

You aren’t being rude at all!! The first few weeks are really when baby and mom have a big adjustment period. You need to be able to breastfeed (if you plan to) when needed, and it will be often! For me, breastfeeding was super difficult and uncomfortable the first month or so, but definitely the first few weeks. I tried to space out visitors at home a lot, and at the hospital only grandparents were allowed to visit. In the hospital, you will be bleeding, have your boobs out half the time, and (if you tear or have vaginal stitches) have nurses checking your bottom often. And to top it off, listen to everyone that’s says to sleep when the baby sleeps. It’ll help you keep your sanity!