I had my second mc the end of January and I can't go through another loss. Literally I can't do it, I nearly gave up on life this time around. The only reason I convinced myself to stay is because I can't put my fiance through it. He wants to try agian but I am scared shitless of losing another baby. My doctor says that there's like a 1% chance of mc 3 times in a row but I already made that 3% cut of women who have 2 I'm a row. I want a baby so baddly, its all I think about, but I'm scared of being pregnant. I'm scared of getting my hcg drawn every week and having rising levels and then 1 week they drop. I'm scared of biweekly US to hear that precious heart fluttering away so I can finally breathe for a second only to hold it agian until 2 weeks pass but then its silent. I'm scared of having to delete all those belly pictures I took to try and erase it but I can't. I'm scared of those sad faces of the people that I told staring at me, trying to console me when I just want to be alone. I'm scared of feeling life and growth inside of me and then the indescribable emptiness when its suddenly gone, almost stolen. I'm scared of that time waiting to "pass the tissue." I'm even more scared of "passing the tissue" in the bathtub agian,expierencing contractions, pain that would only be worth it if after I had a crying baby in my arms and not this bloody "sac" that the doctor said I wouldn't be able to tell but its my baby. I'm scared of burying another baby. I'm am terrified to try again but it's all I think about.