Sorry a bit long but pls read

Two months ago I met this guy online he was sweet and charming. We started talking everyday and hanging out now it didn’t matter that we chilled at night because during the day I’m busy. So we had sex first time with a condom every time no condom but after the third time I didn’t feel good so I went and got tested and he gave me an incurable std. he came over late night and I told him obviously I knew he knew he had what he gave me because his reaction but even tho his calm demeanor pissed me off he told me he was here for me and held me all night and whipped my tears in the morning he was going to leave but saw I was still unset so he got back in bed and continued to hold me for hours. So after that I honestly started to feel like I wasn’t the only one and we would argue alors but when I saw him all the anger left and I just wanted him not sexually but emotionally and I had him so went on for weeks with the unhealthy situation of arguing on min then him hold me all night. Anyway one day we got into it bad and he texted me ending it I was upset and just said what was on my heart and hours later he tell me to shut up we starting over that moment I should have walked away but because I started to fall for this guy so I said okay. A week later he post something I comment and another girl comment tryna check me so I call him and ask who is she he gives me a lie and say she’s a crazy ex that won’t leave him alone and he told me to leave it alone obviously I didn’t and message her and find out that’s his girlfriend we call him on three way and he continues to say those two aren’t together that she’s not his girlfriend and he tells her he’s been dubbing me so I ended it a week later I get a call from my doctor so I go to the doctors and I find out he gave me another std but this one is curable so now I’m pissed because I’ve been so stupid and he calls me I guess to give me closure but he was still lying telling me he haven’t seen or spoke to the other girl which was a lie. So I tried to call him to tell him he has another std and needs to go to the doctor but he didn’t pick up so I text him saying don’t ignore my call no response so me and the ex girlfriend talk otp and she tells me that he was like kinda upset that I was on a dating site and I’m like so and why is he still talking about me. Now I feel so stupid because I miss him not him per say but who I wanted him to be and I did catch feelings and I care about him I honestly don’t know what to do.i know I’m stupid but my feelings were real for him. And now I can’t seem to get rid of this depression I’m in and I cry myself to sleep. Oh and I haven’t really ate since this whole thing happened and I barely sleep and I have really bad panic and anxiety attacks now