And now I am older I can feel the manias, I get very energized and overly excited about the small things, I sure can’t sleep for nothing my thoughts are so random and I get so irritated with anything or anyone, I am bipolar, and I want to speak out more because for 30 years of my life mental illness has been a taboo and no no and God forbid anyone in my family didn’t smile our family would say if you smile enough you’ll be happy or at least ppl will believe we are, not the best advice but that’s the 80’s when we all learned that, in my family we are love please don’t get the wrong idea these days are full of information that if we had our hands on it really could have benefited my siblings and myself but no worries we have all been together and help one another and if was my oldest sister who helped me realize that I was depressed it was after a episode then it was changed to bipolar depression and it should no longer be silenced and I want to here from you and your story would anyone like to maybe be a pen pal, unfortunately I live in a town too big to make real friends I am always looking for a no toxic friend