I just want to cry

I've posted about this before, and I just need to hear other's experiences to ease my worries. In late January I found out I have a subchorionic hematoma and my doctor said it's a fairly big one. I've been out of work since then, on bed rest as much as possible. In mid February I was spotting brown blood which I thought was good and that it was working it's way out, but I also had very intense cramping. The pain was unbearable. This concerned my doctor even more. Two weeks ago I had an ultrasound to see if there had been any changes and it had increased by about 4 cm. Today I had another ultrasound and there's been no change. My baby boy is very healthy and I haven't experienced any more pain..but every time I hear that there hasn't been any positive changes I just feel like I'm right back at the beginning..it terrifies me. This is my first pregnancy and I don't want to constantly be worried. I just want reassurance from anyone who experienced this..how long did yours last? Did it last throughout your entire pregnancy?