my SO didn't care for sex ... Still doesn't . .. well he kept saying how bout an open relationship(I'm sure he wants someone else... anyone else) but I kept saying no well I finally gave in cause he kept mentioning it .... well one day I was super horny and he didn't want anything to do with me so I had slept with someone else ... well the deal was if we dod we let the other know .... well I had gotten home he was asleep so I was gonna tell him the next day and forgot .... well that night a guy I had talked to for a bit came by late at night and my SO was was at a friends well I didn't expect anything i had no intentions of sex ... I said no ... I tried to fight back but they were strong ... I was raped ... I told my SO the next say cause by then I just wanted to go to bed and try to forget but I knew I had to tell him .... well when I told him he got pissed off .... not at the person... at the fact I "let it happen" .... and then denies saying anything about a open relationship when he asked multiple times .... well he holds it over my head constantly ... it's the main cause of our fights cause he hates me cause of it and I've told him he can leave he doesn't have to stay ... well tonight after working all day I was trying to get home to see hum cause I missed him and we planned on wording pizza .. well while I'm stuck in traffic trying ti get home he says he's going ti a friends I ask him to wait so I can see him even tho I really don't want him to go cause it's a bad neighborhood where his friend lives .... well after a long convo and me trying ti get him to stay home.... he said "I can take care of myself ... unlike you" then proceeded to get pissed off at me saying my story didn't add up there'ms no way he forced me and all this I'm sitting there trying to fight back tears and trying ti leave cause I know if I start crying he'll hug me amd try to act like everything's ok but it's not ... I finally got to leave and just broke down in tears ... idk what to do at this point ... I seriously give up ... you would think the SO wouldd be there to help ypu and support you not use it against you