Okay so long rant..I was talking to my man who is currently in jail it was over the phone so we didn't really have much time to talk about it. but he has cheated on me in the past broke my heart countless times , and I forgave him and decided to basically start over although it's like a clean slate and I forgave him I won't/ can't forget what's hes done to me and how he's hurt me even though it's been a few year's. anyways so things were going good then he got locked up. I'm currently 35 w with our first child together & now all he talks about is getting married. we talked about it before but after his cheating I wasn't really sure about it , he would always ask me on the phone would you marry me I love you so much. I just said we will see in the future I told him I feel like he wants to get married so fast because I'm sticking with him while he's in jail. he wants to get married as soon as he comes home but I ask him if it's even Real that I feel like he is saying this because he's in jail. that If he was still out here would he still want what he wants now or would he still cheat on me . he pisses me off sometimes because he says it's a "sickness" that he has of wanting to fuck different females after a few years into our relationship he told me that he's never been faithful hes always cheated. why I stayed idk I thought I could change him. so he says on the phone that it's fucked up if I don't help him like wtf I can't help you be loyal I tried for 2 years to get you to be committed to me and nothing changed. even me being pregnant you was still cheating with escorts and your " female friends" I just I don't know if I want to continue fighting for him to love me like I love him. how can I be in love with him when he's never treated me with respect or love. ? he used to take a lot of pills and is a alcoholic but he says since he's been in there his minds been clear and now he realizes what he has. I changed my whole life for him and where am i now ? at his moms house I don't know my dad my mom don't speak to me because I chose to keep my half black baby and not get an abortion ( she's racist ) like I have nothing of my own anymore and he doesn't want me to leave his mother's house until he's home but wtf so if you come home and decide to cheat I can't leave because I have no where to go. I just plan on getting a job once I have my daughter stay with his mom till I save some money get a full-time put her in daycare and get my own place and just not tell him. I feel like he's going to be in there for a while anyway because of his charge he set up a robbery but the people who he had Rob the guy shot him and killed him although he wasn't there and he was never supposed to die hes basically the Master mind of it all but they don't have any hard evidence on him. and I didn't even know what he did until the cops showed up at the house we was renting a place with roomates but I couldn't stay there cause I couldn't afford to pay rent work due to high risk so I had to move in with his mom smh I just think it's better if I just leave him alone I hate where I am in life right now and I just want to change it so I'm at a better place.