Trying to be a better Ally (I have a question)

Hi so I couldn’t really think of a good title :c

But I kind of grew up in a very anti gay household. Mainly because if my father’s ideals. My mother always was accepting because her sister was a lesbian. (Sadly she passed away a few years back) anyways! Though my father would always say derogatory terms for people who weren’t straight, my sister and I both grew into the opposite mindset of my father. My sister however is very active in social justice issues, where I myself am a bit more... conservative? I don’t really know the word. Maybe less passionate. Or I lack the energy. (I am a big advocate for people with disabilities, and focus on that in particular where my sister does everything and anything she can.)

However, I don’t know if anyone has seen my posts prior to this in other groups (I don’t see why you would but just in case!) but, I have suffered from agoraphobia for like the past 2ish years. Then the last 2 years of high school and 1st 2 years of adulthood I didn’t talk to anyone.

Because if this I kinda like, don’t really know how to interact well anymore LOL

ANYWAYS!

My question is to people who identify as a different gender than what was written on their birth certificate. From what I’ve heard from the ACTUAL LGBT+ community vs the internet trolls, no one actually gets enraged about assuming someone’s gender, especially if it was a genuine mistake.

I was wondering like, when IS it okay to assume? And how is the best way to go about asking? Like, idk how to ask without sounding ignorant T___T ahhh

I just feel really like, uneasy asking someone what they identify as because it just feels, idk rude?

I dunno T___T

But anyways!

Please excuse my ignorance D: I actually want to learn this really badly.

If someone genuinely wants to be called they/them or he/his or she/her etc,

I don’t really see what the big deal is by like, respecting their wishes. Its like, I’ve met people who have said “oh well it’s their birth given sex sooo” meanwhile they’re asking people to call them by a different name than what they were born with.

Like ??? Is it going to hurt you that badly to just respect something they request? holy shit.

But yeah. Help would be appreciated D: