Alright this might be long, bear with me.

I’m 21 and have a 2 year old son (born 12/25/15) and have been with his dad and my boyfriend since shortly before I got pregnant with my son (started dating in October 2014, miscarried Feb ‘15, pregnant next cycle 😳) He is my rock, my knight in shining armor, everything I’ve ever wanted or needed in a relationship or in a man, period.

He does have 2 kids from a previous relationship that he currently doesn’t even receive visitation on (don’t get me started on that one) but we recently decided to remove my IUD and start TTC. I love the idea of my son having a sibling close (but not too close) in age.

We both make a very healthy income, have paid off all of our debt except damn student loans 🙄 and are on no government assistance, etc. to help us support our family. We have a healthy savings built up, and my job offers 16 weeks 100% paid maternity leave.

We are ready to expand our family, but where my hesitation lies is in my family. His family is all in and so excited for our family to grow. Mine, however, will not receive this news so positively. My mom F L I P P E D when she found out I was pregnant with Jackson, wouldn’t even acknowledge it was happening until I was 20-22 weeks along. Obviously she has come along but regardless of what I do, she thinks I’m a failure. Calls me once a week saying she’s worried about me (even though there’s literally no reason to be) and then hounds me about going back to school (I have an associates degree) and is constantly up in my shit.

People always judge us, I am 21 and he is 23, and we are an interracial family (he is black, I am as white as it gets 😂)- for instance, we were in the grocery store today and pulled together a pretty healthy $250ish bill and the older gentleman behind me rolls his eyes and says “there goes my tax money” I bit my tongue and pulled out cash and paid for our groceries.

I’m just afraid that everything is going to get worse. I don’t necessarily care what people think about us, but it does weigh heavy on my heart, and it takes out the fun of trying to conceive.

Anyone with similar experience have some words of wisdom for me?

Am I worried for nothing?

Am I crazy for wanting to have another so young?

Sure Jackson wasn’t planned but I worked my ass off working 2 jobs and going to school to get where I am now, and am so incredibly proud of myself. I just wish I could shine like “normal” aged mamas do, excited about my ttc journey and all of the preparation. Internally, I am, I just wish I could share that excitement with my mama is all 🤷🏼‍♀️

Maybe I just needed to vent. I love this community. Baby dust to all ✨✨✨

Picture of my happy little Jackson bean 😍