Am I overreacting?

I had a past relationship & he was shitty af like literally in everything. Liar cheater manipulator, etc. So now i catch myself following the same patters with my now boyfriend of two years, & I don't do it on purpose but it's like my ex messed up my head so bad that it's so hard for me to actually think normal with my now bf. So i know he has these really good girl friends since he was like maybe 15 or around there & now he's 22. So this one girl friend started messaging him on social media again & she knows about me & so & so. So today he asked me if it was okay with me if they texted & that he knows that she gives me my place like respect us & he asked me for my honest answer & i told him that it did & then i asked him if she already has her number & he said yes that he gave it to her Saturday night when she went over with this other guy friend of my boyfriend too, but that they haven't text & that he won't reply that he didn't think it was gonna bother me but that he'll respect my decision. & it also got to me the fact that he's trying to go see her mother since her mother has been asking for him & yet he doesn't even try to make a relationship with my own mom. Idk the actual details on how he got along with her mom from way back or nothing i didn't ask about that but i know that he's super shy & that is why he doesn't talk much to my mom, he's a quiet person like he bearly makes conversation with me lol. I just don't know if im being paranoid following the same patters i had to follow with my ex or if I'm being unfair. She has a younger sister & he also gets along with her too from way back.