Trying so hard not to break down

Sade

So today is like 13dpo and I've been secretly testing since 10dpo all of which have been negative. I'm in bed crying right now because I have to tell dh again, that we aren't pregnant. we've been trying for 10 years. I feel so bad keeping the joy of him being a father away from him. sometimes I just want to run away so that he can start a family and be happy. I am so devastated right now!