Fighting With Reality VS Emotions

Turns out I am pregnant. About 4-5 weeks along. My boyfriend keeps making comments like “We both have to get our stuff together first” or “Are you really ready for this” “I support you either way” but honestly I feel like he much rather me have an abortion & though he says he supports me either way, I feel he would support me more if I got the abortion. I truly am against abortions & I honestly have never felt so stuck in my life. He said financially he is not ready but his salary alone is well over $75,000 a year. Not to mention my personal salary. Has anyone experienced this before? I am so afraid to mourn after going through with an abortion. I also feel like if I continue with the pregnancy that it would be forced on his behalf because it wasn’t what he truly wanted at the time.