so today it officially makes 1 month since i had my first kiss. i’m a senior and high school and i’m 17, so you can imagine that waiting this log made it a big deal for me, that’s why i think it didn’t end well. so after talking to this guy for a month and having met up twice i thought it was okay to kiss. one day it was around 8pm and we were in his car parked infornt of a baseball field. we were just talking and then he came in for the kiss even though i had decided i was going to let it happen i backed away. i told him he had to teach me how to do it because i didn’t know anything about it. so here is where it got weird. he grabs my hand and places it on his penis and says “this is how you do it, you have to grab it”, then we kissed for the first time, but i felt uncomfortable having my hand on his penis so i back away, then we kissed again, his hand was on my butt the whole time (i was cool with it, i kinda liked it there) but then when we were kissing for the third time i backed away quickly because i thought about my dad, who passed away when i was little. the weird part is that i told him that. then it got really awkward and he never texted me ever again. the end. i want to get over him but i was really attracted to him and he wasn’t even that cute, i guess just because he was 19 and had a nice car and was like a bad boy... but i think about him almost every day and i don’t want to, but then i do... idk what to do.