Went to jail cus of my SO

Hello ladies!! I'm here to tell u if your relationship ain't going right don't force it . I just got out of jail because I'm so hurt that I tried to stab my kids dad In front of my kids no I don't feel good about it I've been with this man for 17 yrs 3 kids I found out that he was texting this women from my kids football team I wrote about it before If it sounds familiar, it's been a year but still a man can make u feel like u ain't shit sure I'm fat & don't look the same but neither does he. It's been a lot of abuse in the past and arguing mainly because of him cheating & he wasn't working for two yrs . I asked him to leave but all he said was no call the police. I'm embarrassed & ashamed I'm currently at a motel until my court date . Ty all for listening