Help - toxic relationship with Ex!

Karen

Hello all, I am so torn. I started dating my best friend (of 7 years!!) last year and We were both so in love and cared so much for eachother. However, he broke up with me a few months later because he couldn’t deal with being/seeing me everyday (even though I suggested toning it down, trialling other ways). But he didn’t want to continue so we stopped dating.

Since then, we have both kept crawling back to eachother CONTINUOUSLY back and forth, for sex and for love. Except these super short-lived impulse flings last about a day or at most a few days and then he always pushes me away again. We fight so much about this, it is tearing my life apart. He says he still loves me, we still have sex here and there, and he genuinely cares (since we’ve been best friends for so long anyway) but it is so awful and emotionally destructive for me that he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me. I am so hurt and torn.

Furthermore, he has made comments about other girls he finds attractive and I’ve told him it’s hurtful towards me - even though we aren’t dating, he knows i still have feelings for him.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t cut off all contact to him because now we live in the same college at University - we have to see eachother. But being with him means I can’t move on, because I still am in love with him. I cry so much about this problem, my heart is broken and torn and conflicted and confused. 😭😭😭 Any thoughts or suggestions or tips would be so appreciated ❤️❤️❤️❤️