Feel like a failure(Rant)

Denise • I am 34 years old, married, MC June 2018. Lost fallopian tube 2/19. Hoping for a miracle baby!

Add another negative test to the huge pile accumulating over the past 5 years. I've had two children prior to trying for this one so what the hell is wrong with me?! I tracked my cycle, got a positive opk bd'd like crazy....and still NOTHING! I try to tell myself, don't lose hope it will happen, maybe next month, and then the same result over and over again. AF isn't due for another 3 days, but I have literally had no symptoms at all that would indicate pregnancy and slight cramping has started. Is one last child really that much to ask for?! I had my laparoscopy done back in 2013, now my gyn says my tubes may be blocked but she's not experienced enough to clear them, so once again I have to go see another specialist! Seriously at my wits end here and about to lose hope. If you're still reading this, thank you, because I seriously don't know where to go from here.