Still Healing and Career Change

I had my second miscarriage at the end of December at 8 weeks. It destroyed me completely. I'm a first grade teacher and didn't take any time off for it (which I regret) because it was during winter break. I miscarried naturally and passing the baby left me completely broken.

I've been a crazy emotional wreck ever since. I've been a roller coaster of emotions and I feel so drained. I was having anxiety and panic attacks and I'm still going to counseling.

I opened up to my coworkers and principal about it but I feel embarrassed that I've been so depressed and anxious! I know I haven't been my best at work and my principal is concerned it's effecting my work as a teacher.

Yesterday I broke down in her office and said I don't know if I can teach anymore. It's so stressful when you're not mentally okay to deal with 20 six year olds every single day. Especially ones with severe behavior issues.

She said I would qualify for a year off and I can still have a teaching position if I want it. I'm so sad that things have turned out this way. I feel like my principal thinks I'm weird and crazy! Has anyone felt this way about their job? After a miscarriage is it normal to feel like you need to make serious changes in your life? Am I too sensitive? I feel like everyone thinks I should be over it by now but I'm so not! I'm still heartbroken.

Sorry for the long post 😔💔