finding this tough 😔

My Hubby already has two children and had a vaesectomy reversal after he divorced his ex wife a few years ago. I am fully aware that this could be hindering our chances due to scar tissue etc etc and I love him so much for going through it in the first place.  My periods are irregular with no real explanation after blood tests, ultra sounds blah blah blah. We don't qualify for any help with IVF because my husband already has kids so are waiting for private referral. 

I know I am incredibly luck to have my step children in my life and I love them so much. I just really wish I had a child of my own and want it so badly 😔 I've started researching fertility treatment and understand that it doesn't always work first time so kinda feel like I am setting myself up for a whole load of more heartache 😔 

Not sure what the point of my little outburst is. I guess I just need to get it off my chest as I haven't really spoken to anyone about how I feel. My husband is great but I sometimes feel like even he doesn't fully understand because he already has children. 

Just feeling scared that this may never happen for me. I totally understand that I am not the only one out there and that people have been thru much worse. Would just be comforting to hear from others who are in this place right now so we can keep each other going 😔