Anxiety my fault?

So me and my husband have been having problems since his dad has passed away.

I was finding it too difficult and thought that he needed some help from his mum and family. So went to talk to my mil about what been happening and asked her to talk to him about his feelings and things.

That was Monday. Ha a great few days.

Then yesterday I had a hard day with my anxiety and over thinking.

Told him that I was having a hard and heartbreaking day and said that it's got nothing to do with what he's done.

Husband then called his mum and she came around and we had a good talk where I got a dressing down! I have to let the past go, let the wanting of another child go (I did say easier said then done), my anxiety is my fault, I can't talk to anyone friends or family, or post on Facebook, she enquired if I'm good with the kids and don't take it out on them even tho she she's me with them three times a week including Sunday lunch!

I don't know where to go from here. I keep a good house, I manage the kids school work and play groups, I take them out both days at the weekend, all throughout the holidays. They are well cared for.

I knew asking for help would bite me in the butt!!