Can me not wanting to marry my boyfriend [from wanting to] change later?

Brittany • ✨23|Aspiring Lawyer|Proud Intersectional Feminist|Avid Gamer✨

Hi Ladies,

I hope you’re having a wonderful day so far.

Before I begin, I appreciate opinions, but if you’re going to be overly negative or judgmental - please refrain from leaving your opinion. ❤️

So, a little bit about my current relationship - I am 24 and my boyfriend is 30. He is a great person, he is caring, supportive, and truly loving. He supports all of my dreams and goals and is always there to rid any doubt I may have. He loves me for me - despite at 30 pound weight gain and is always there if I need to cry - since discovering my anxiety. However, since moving in (8 months ago) - things have changed (sounds so cliche). We started off long distance and moved in when I started professional school.

While we were long distance, he seemed to have it all together, unlike my ex, he had a solid job [admittedly not one that I would have been excited about, and yes - unfortunately I was once an “education snob” - please don’t shame me, I know and I’ve changed] but because he was such a hard worker, and cared so much - I was excited to be with him. However, over time I learned of several “small lies” for example, the two trips he took me on he couldn’t really afford [No, I’m not materialistic, but I would always ask if he was sure he could afford to take me places or come visit me and he would always say yes.] He also lied about past relationships, and what not.

Prior to moving, I got him a job with a family member where he could work virtually. Upon moving, he suddenly decided he wasn’t going to work. He would act like he was, but he wasn’t. [This is crazy and I often times can’t believe that I’ve allowed this.] I ended up paying a lot of his bills, including paying all of our bills like rent, my car note, my credit card bill [which he started to use regularly since he lost his on the way up] and so much more. He also didn’t help much around the house - I would have to come home and clean after being at school all day.

Fast forward to today of months and ups and downs, and contemplating whether to end this relationship. It seems like some of what I said have started to sink in. He is going to start his Bachelor’s in Marketing, he is currently preparing to get his real estate license, and more. However, due to what happened in the past - I’m not sure that I don’t want to be with him, but I’m not sure that I want to marry him and I don’t know if this feeling may change.

We are currently looking to move and as I began to plan out our home, I found myself wondering if this really would be ours.

So my ultimate question is whether my feelings could change for the positive again? Can it change to want to marry him again?

I know that was really long and I just want to thank you for taking the time to read this! I just need to hear from other [patient and positive people!]

Love and Blessings!