My mental illness and sex life


I have anxiety. It’s grown to become a hardcore issue I’m getting therapy for.

I’m really working hard on learning new neurological pathways and learning how to feel emotions full and communicate them softly and clearly to loved ones.

But I’m not very good at it yet. I get triggered by the smallest things. I panic about tiny things. I stress and over think and often lash out in frustration instead of expressing.

My partner has been the victim of a lot of my lashing out and he has been so loving and understanding. But it has taken its toll on him. He often tries to fix everything for me because he cares but often doesn’t have the space to do his own thing because my mental illness takes up so much conversation and effort.

Due to my lashing out against him (never physically and never intentionally) he has grown to feel unsafe around me much of the time and therefore our sex life has become non-existent.

He is really overwhelmed my anxiety and is exhausted from trying to help fix me. He loves me and we still have a close and intimate relationship, with snuggles and little kisses and kindness. We just don’t have sex anymore. He doesn’t feel attracted to me at the moment.

I’ve told him I feel hurt and rejected and unworthy. He really feels for me and has apologised and everything, but we don’t really have a path forward except give it time and see what happens.

This issue is burning a hole in me and I am wondering if anyone here can offer helpful solutions.

Please be kind in your comments, my partner is so loving and we really care for each other and both feel a bit stuck and down.

Please refrain from shaming my partner as a lot of women on here just say things like ‘girl, dump his ass if he doesn’t respect you!’ And that’s unhelpful because we genuinely want to make it work.