I saw you out today and while we didnt talk we made eye contact and you gave me a sad smile. Its been a few years but i feel the need to tell you I still think about you from time to time.

We started off as coworkers and then developed a really close friendship. We talked shit about our ex's together, pulled all nighters watching crappy movies, and drove around for hours when we had nothing to do.

You were the one who made the first sexual advance and to be honest I was thrilled. We both knew going in that it wasnt anything serious, that it was just two friends working off stress and anxiety. We'd both been in similar "relationships" before and everything turned out fine.

However as time went on we both started to delevope feelings. Youd wake up before me just to make me breakfast, even though you burnt it every time. You'd send me poems during the middle of the day when we weren't working together, you'd put the dumbest songs and randomly start to slow dance with me(which was what made me fall in love with you). You started holding my hand in the car and you started introducing me to friends/family.

I brought you orange juice and soup when you were sick. I laid awake with you on nights when your insomnia just wouldn't let you fall asleep, and I drove 30 minutes one way countless times when your depression got the best of you. I used to sit and admire you while you sketched for hours on end, and I ate the burnt food you made me every time.

But then tragedy struck and you lost a close friend to suicide... You didnt invite me to the funeral because you felt it was something you needed to go through alone, which I understood and I gave you that space while letting you know if you needed me I was there.

Little did I know that your ex was going to be at the funeral. The ex who cheated on you with your best friend, the ex who belittled you and looked down on you because you didnt have a degree. The ex who you claimed to be over, but that your mother loved.

After the funeral you and the rest of your friends -including her - went out for drinks to celebrate your friends life. You said you only had one shot but that your ex got sloppy drunk, her ride abandoned her in the middle of the night and you were just being nice when you took her home. That you felt oblegated to stay while she was hysterically crying, and slept on the couch to make sure she was ok.

Which was all okay, because a year of fooling around, meeting your family and talking about getting serious didnt mean we were in a relationship. I had no right to be mad or upset.

You told me about that night the next time we saw each other and I believed you when you said you were only being nice, and our "relationship" continued as usual.

But then you started hiding your phone when you were on it, something you never did before. Infact we used to hide under the covers and watch youtube on your phone just to be closer to each other but that stopped too.

When your friends came over and would complain about your ex infront of me you told them," I dont feel right talking about these things infront of Cam." - Because it was "disrespectful" to me.

Thanksgiving came, and your mom invited me over facebook but I was out of town. The next week when I came back and she came to visit you she told me how miserable you'd been with me gone and you hid from embarrassment. I was absolutely giddy

Then December came and with it the Mayan Doomsday. You and your friends went out for drinks and who so happens to be there cause it was her birthday? And in your defense you didnt know she'd be there, you even called me once you got to the bar and saw her there. You said you wanted to leave but that your friends were making a big deal about it, so you decided to simply not acknowledge her existence.

But evidently she made it known because she wound up playing pool with your friends. However you actually kept your distance as I'm told and saw for myself via Snapchat, and the videos she posted on facebook.

Again our relationship stayed right on course and I was staying over more and more. Christmas came and I'd thought about getting you some really expensive cologne because you'd just started a new job that required you to wear suits everyday. But your brother told me you didnt care for Christmas so we didn't exchange gifts at all.

We spent new years together, and the next day I decided to sorta tell you how I felt. I thought it was apparent because we'd become so close and both so emotionally attached, but I didnt tell you Id actually fallen in love with you long ago. And it seemed you felt the same way.

Things seemed normal for the next few weeks but suddenly I became clingy, and tried to hard. I tried to back off and did my best not to come on too strong.

Slowly you started distancing yourself from me and it reached the point where you would only invite me over once a week or so. Then all together you stopped inviting me over, and then you stopped responding to my text.

Next thing I knew I was a poem (which you posted on facebook)about a green eyed manic pixi girl, who wore short skirts without panties who you thought was the one but that clearly wasnt the case.

Not long afterwards I ran into a mutual friend of ours who asked me if I'd heard the news.... I of course had no idea what he was referring to until he said," well its big, and im not sure how he's going to do it, but it isnt my place to tell you."

I knew then that you'd gotten her pregnant, what else could it be?? You waited 3 months after that encounter to message me on Facebook and give me the new that she was 5 months pregnant.

Which meant that you were sleeping with her while things were supposedly going great between us.

I'm not going to lie, I shed more tears over you than I care to admit. And for the longest time I wished things had worked out between us and that I was the one you got pregnant.

But im married now, and head over heels in love with my husband. He may not make me breakfast in bed, or slow dance with me to random songs.

But he never once hid his feelings for me, he told me he loved me the moment he knew. He holds me close every night and tells me how gorgeous I am even when im broke out and bloated from being on my period. He takes slow walks with me through the park, and bought me the ugliest pair of leggings for Christmas one year. He isnt the artsy type but he leaves me sticky notes around the apartment with sweet messages on them, and I admire his sleeping form for hours at a time. When his uncle died he cried in my arms, and held my hand throughout the funeral.

I just wanted to let you know that while your stuck in your miserable marriage with the ex you married because you got her pregnant, I will never give you a sad smile. My husband is the most amazing man in the world, and if I had to choose one day with him or that year with you I would choose him every time.

Can you say the same?