Getting divorced..

Ok so my husband and I been together for 12 years (married for almost 10 years) We had problems in the past and every time we would talk about leaving each other and stay away for a few days I would have a breakdown and feel terrible. like I can not be without him but this time He left the house and took most of his things and I don't feel Sad like before.. Does this mean I'm going to be ok or did it just not hit me yet? I'm worried that I don't feel anything now and I will later on.. I don't know but I just want to protect my feelings.. I hope I'm making sense.. Any advice?? TIA..