I want a baby
I lost my baby to a blighted ovum and I just miscarried the remains and I can't have Sex right now but all I want to do is make a baby. 😩😩😩
It makes me cry thinking about it.
I spent nights crying wishing for my baby back and now that I realize I am not getting my baby back I cry that I just want a baby. I want to watch something grow and I want to feel good about myself again. Because all I can think is how I lost a baby and I want to think about how I could grow one.
And love on one. And give it everything.
But I don't want to seem like I'm moving on too fast and I didn't even want to tell anyone I was pregnant with my first baby but I told one person who told a bunch of people and I had to make an announcement for people to stop saying congratulations because I had already lost my baby. SomeOne told me that another family member was telling people that she thought I was lying about getting pregnant and having a miscarriage. That was one of the worse things to hear during this time. Because now I won't have a baby and it feels like someone does not validate that my baby ever existed. And to be clear I have NEVER had a history of lying about pregnancy or anything for that matter and for someone to even attempt to label me as a liar to other people when I am one of the most honest people in my family was insulting. I could not imagine what I would hear this time if I got pregnant again.
I don't want judgement. I don't want to be around other people. I just want to be inside with my SO and make another baby.