Hey names: Willow May , I guess I’m looking for any vice bearable or possible please NO NRGATIVE BASHING(Nones Relationship is the best) “And if so I’m proud of you and congrats, but some go through worse than others and seek the confidence and comfort from someone that may share the same interests and experiences, Rant Over Lol, anyways Me(31) and my boyfriend(43) have been together for two years February 14th, in the first seven-8 months everything was lollipops 🍭 and candy canes, he new before he got with me I was chaos and trouble he liked that in me, been since the months and years have gone by and where still together I feel their could be changes made to fix it but it takes two to accomplish that, I have had my doubts about him having an affair when he’s gone to the casino which use to be are thing until I ruined my first out of state experience got arrested, not assisted related but a criminal obstruction charge, then I just completely fell out of the casino style, well needless to say nothin really has changed on his part since he left home last month and came back the day of are 2 year anniversary and Valentine’s Day, we talked about the things that made him and I unhappy like when I’m always sitting at my kitchen table smoking cigs drinking coffee ☕️ on my Facebook 👩🏻‍💻 all the time and his biggest problem was I won’t go oral on him, I know it’s sounds strange and funny lol at my age I should know these things and I feel so dumb because my friends and family tell ( me if he don’t get happiness from you and pleasure he’ll get it somewhere else) I haven’t in my life given it once oral I mean and it’s not the pleasantries I like lol, so last month when he didn’t return till like I said the dad of out 2yr Ann. And Valentine’s Day we decided on things that bothered 😕 one ☝️ another and it seemed even during the agreement I knew I was going to still be a fool in the situation, It’s not as easily as everyone 🤔 thinks is it to just walk out I love this man north than the the earth 🌏 and more nothing could ever compare what he has done me for me and how he has made me see I can do this things and to have confidence, the reason I say this is because before we ended up in are now complicated relationship I was homeless my whole live from my younger years with my mother than finally we butted heads on a daily, I moved out at fourteen went to school for a short time at age 16 became a huge alcohol 🍺 intill I was 17 went back to school again got kicked out 2wks into my last’s year, every since then it was one ☝️ thing after another I started drinking again a year later I started smoking pot hang out with all the wrong crowd ended up in jail. During 25 years of age we lived up above this pizza 🍕 shop their was one man impartially interesting to me, my heart ♥️ skip a beat when I saw him something weird happens to body when I entered the shop he Owned if he was in their I served me even when it was a soda 😊❣️, as I got older I ended reconnecting with him through when I started smoking pot we hung out smoked went to movies 🍿 and dinner 🥘 we use to cuddle at spontaneous moments, but now nothing since almost the end of last year, 😓 he has completely distanced himself from me, he barley ever even acknowledged sim here we don’t cuddle we don’t share the same covers, he asked me to delete my Facebook ✅ he asked me to stop smoking 🚭 in the house 🏡 ✅ telling people in the family or friends about what goes on in are relationship ✅ the only thing I agreed to that hasn’t but accomplished was oral🙄🤢😱 but now thinking back to what I agreed to I’m thinking 💭 he only did it for dominating tactics and I caved considering I was single three years before this previous relationship, because I was getting out of a horrible DOMESTIC relationship. This boyfriend I’m with now was lovable, affectionate, caring, passionate, where does that go, now his just physical and domestic violence (hair pulling,slapping through the face, ripping me to the ground, verbal and mental abuse.) I’m basically looking for advice to help I’m aware certain things need to be fix on their own and only those people can do that themselves... 😴🤮😭🤯

In the photo I have a cold pack from a horrible migraine from arguing and screaming and physical tension, idk if u can c the head phones it’s call anxiety meditation 🧘‍♀️ music 🎼 and stress relieving calming music.