How can I beat my addiction

okay. I’ve been addicted to drinking pee for a few years. I was first really drunk when I got introduced to it and I haven’t been able to control myself ever since...Please don’t say mean things to me. I’m going anon on this post because I am so embarrassed to ask for help or see a therapist about it. What are some good venting sites or online therapists that I can talk to? thank you